Tuesday, November 23, 2010

who I'm going to be when I grow up

When you tell people you're in school for Journalism and Public Relations, the first question you get is usually "So what are you going to do with that?" Generally, I never have an answer for them and it's a really awkward few minutes of "Ummm well, there are a few things I could see myself doing...." But I now have an answer for those people: When I grow up, I want to be Chelsea Handler.

I'm not kidding, with the exception of the aversion to seeing a pregnancy through and the affinity for midgets, I'd like to be her. If you live under a rock or across the river in Arkansas with no cable and no bookstores, I'll familiarize you with my dear Chelsea.

She started as a stand-up comedian, has a nightly talk show on E! and is a published author (My Horizontal Life, Are You There Vodka, It's Me Chelsea and Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang)

She gets to write, travel the country on stand-up tours, have tons of gay boyfriends and earn buckets & buckets of money for being ridiculous (and i think sometimes drunk) on E! every night. And gets lots of twitter-infused press about a possible affair with 50 Cent. I could totally have an alleged affair with a rapper....Adam wouldn't mind, right?
Added bonus of the Chelsea Handler path to success? I would stop worrying about the family alcoholism trait and just embrace my Catholic upbringing, being a full-on lush and make lots of money writing about my vodka-induced shenanigans. 

Essentially, her life and career is amazing and I want it.

If you have the E! channel, go watch the Chelsea's Big Interview Special that inspired this blog. She interviewed Gwyneth Paltrow (who I'm now obsessed with since she did Glee last week), Anne Hathaway and Christina Aguilera.

Now comment with ideas on how to convince Adam & Reed to move to New York or LA so I can start gathering material for my first book about (drunken) southern mommy in a big city, fish out of water situations.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

things I've been doing instead of blogging

I've been a terrible blogger of late.
As always, Adam is partially to blame for stealing the computer unless I've commandeered it specifically for schoolwork but that excuse is about to go the way of unsliced bread because Adam's desktop computer is finished being rebuilt. Thanks Tim! And, as the post title suggests, i've also been doing other things aside from blogging:

the Shopaholic books. Ellie called me Monday morning cracking up laughing about Mini-Shopaholic, the latest installment, so of course I had to start reading them. Please don't judge them by the movie (Sorry, Isla Fisher, I do love you). If you're a fan of hilarious chick-lit, these books are great. However, if you're a frugal lady like me, as I was warned by Robyn, you will get stressed out by her inordinate spending habits. it's okay, it all works out.

1. The usual suspects: Glee, 16 & Pregnant, The Office, Grey's Anatomy & Private Practice.
2. RED. The Bruce Willis, Mary-Louise Parker, Helen Mirren & John Malkovich movie about retired CIA operatives. It was hilarious, I actually liked it more than Adam did (who still liked it) which is crazy, since it's based off of a graphic novel. If you need a non-chick flick date night movie, I highly recommend it. 
movie date night with my wonderful husband :)

3. General Hospital. Don't judge me. No really, please don't. It's for my Television & Culture class, I've had to watch like five episodes to finish my assignment. It's beyond terrible, James Franco isn't on the show anymore. 

I've gotten to see a lot of my friends this week, albeit the separate visits with the Haire sisters were both too short.
 (Ahem. Picture Edit).
I popped in on my dearest Robyn (& Jesse) to get the first two Shopaholic books. And of course she further took care of me by feeding me pumpkin bread & hot chocolate :)

Ronni & I went to see the TOMS shoe guy (Blake Mycoski) talk at school
and then the next day we were joined by Reed & Molly at Muddy's for some cupcakes and cookies that were muy delicioso. Ronni & Reed became great chums as reed repeatedly asked her "get a bite of cupcake?" and Ronni obliged and handed over her Frankly Scarlet.

I didn't see these ladies together, but come on, this is a great picture of both of them.
I finally saw Mrs. Sarah Harr for the first time since either one of us became married ladies. It was great to have coffee and catch up :)
As far as my dear Elspeth goes, we happened to bump into each other on campus resulting in a 20 minute chat and me being late for my Mass Comm Law class. It was lovely, and of course, too short.

and last but not least, Reed & I had a Target trip, backyard picnic and lots of playtime on Friday with Heather, Buck & Theodore Pennel. Aside from thinking I lost my car keys for a few hours only to discover Buck was sleeping on them and Reed getting pecked at by a chicken, we had lots of fun.

this isn't from last week but it's fairly recent. it's blurry because they were running around crazy. And yes, those legs poking out at Reed belong to Buck.

Oh and the most exciting part of my blogging adventure- I had a new follower when I logged in and it wasn't someone I see on a weekly basis or whose blog I follow! Thanks Fallon :)

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

it's the worst kind of heartache

tonight's blog is going to be about something very important to me.
it's a highly emotional topic and it's one that often I'm too upset to speak of so this is a special occasion.
i'm speaking, of course, of Celebrity Break-Ups.
there's been a string of them recently, some more devastating than others, and really, I needed to take to the blog to let out my feelings about this.
hey, it's cheaper than therapy.

let's go back to the genesis of when the celebrity break-up's really started to wound me. there were a few that tugged at my heart strings in the beginning;
riding to school freshman year of high school and hearing on the radio about Tom & Nicole (remember they were married before he kidnapped Joey from Dawson's Creek) was slightly disheartening but not truly upsetting.
No, the big one for me was also the big one for America:
the beloved Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston.

Brad & Jen
I have to admit, I'm still not over this. Despite their six kids, I still think Angelina Jolie is a homewrecker and I would rock those "Team Aniston" shirts from back in 2005 (that I totally would have bought if I'd been old enough to posses a credit card and online shop back then). The couple formerly known as Mr. and Mrs. Pitt are heartbreaking but not all that recent (tell that to OK! Magazine though, they are still running weekly stories about this drama).

Last year, the collective of Celebrity Relationships received another blow.

Tim Robbins & Susan Sarandon Split after 23 years.
This was pretty devastating. If you're not familiar with this particular coupling, despite their years together and two children, they were not married. At the time of their separation, Adam & I weren't engaged, much less married, and their supposed success without a marriage license gave me hope. After they broke up, all I had was Goldie Hawn & Kurt Russel.

It seems like in the last year we've had a lot of celebrity break-ups. The Tiger Woods and Sandra Bullock respective serial cheating sagas both ended in divorce. Bristol Palin got re-engaged and then re-broke up with her PlayGirl babydaddy all in the time that it took 2 US Weekly's to come out (publicity stunt?) And the final nail in the relationship coffin of The Notebook couple Ryan Gosling & Rachel McAdams was hit with a hammer (I'd like them to get back together, please) and Christina Aguilera filed for divorce a few weeks ago, despite telling the world that there Ain't No Other Man like her hubby.

But if there was one couple in La La Land who I thought would actually make it, it was Jen's BFF and her manchild husband.

Courteney Cox & David Arquette
Granted, the Arquette’s haven't filed for divorce and the lady of the family herself has said that this is a separation, not a divorce. However, David has gone all over the Howard Stern Show and Twitter about the girls he's screwed since their split and how his wife is tired of being his mommy. I smell divorce attorneys any second now.

If Celebrity Break-Up's don't break your heart, then probably you find me and this blog utterly ridiculous right about now. And that's okay, I understand. There are lots of things that upset other people that don't upset me. I can only hope that by some miracle of God or Perez Hilton one of these celebrities mentioned will be pouring through google posts of their name, come across my blog and realize they HAVE to get back together with their lost love.

that might happen, right?

happy tuesday, blog loves. if you're in Memphis, I hope you voted and I hope you remembered your rain boots. I only remembered to vote and I was cold all day.
Au Revoir.